Best Genre
specific Guitar
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Overall: 9/10
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Best Feature: Dazzling vintage-inspired design.
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TedScore™: 9/10
Best Guitar
For Everyone
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Overall: 8/10
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Best Feature: Comfort-contoured alder body with figured maple top.
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TedScore™: 8/10
Best Guitar
Design
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Overall: 9/10
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Best Feature: Maple top with flamed maple veneer.
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TedScore™: 9/10
The first time I heard a guitarist joke, it left me laughing out loud right in the middle of the music shop.
There’s a classic that always gets a chuckle: “How do you get a guitarist to play softer? Put a sheet of music in front of them.”
Whether you’re a guitarist or just someone who appreciates a good guitar joke, these humorous quips will resonate with you.
Our Ultimate List of the top 50 guitarist jokes
1. How do you get a guitarist to play softer? Give them some sheet music.
2. What’s the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? One plays three chords for thousands of people, and the other plays thousands of chords for three people.
3. What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
4. Why did the guitarist get arrested? For fingering A minor.
5. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a song? A quitar.
6. How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. The keyboard player can do it with their left hand.
7. Why did the guitarist go to jail? Because he fingered the wrong minor.
8. What’s the difference between an electric guitar and an acoustic guitar? About 100 decibels.
9. What’s the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish!
10. Why did the guitarist apologize to his fretboard? He had too many frets.
11. How do you make a bass player turn down the volume? Put a chart in front of him.
12. What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? Homeless.
13. Why are so many guitar player jokes one-liners? So the rest of the band can understand them.
14. What do you say to a guitarist in a three-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise?”
15. How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Put a piece of sheet music in front of them.
16. What’s the difference between a lead guitarist and God? God doesn’t think he’s a lead guitarist.
17. How do you know when a guitarist is well-hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between the neck and the noose.
18. What’s black and blue and lying in a ditch? A guitarist who’s told too many drummer jokes.
19. How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. One to screw it in and four to stand around arguing about how Jimi Hendrix would have done it.
20. Why are pirates great guitarists? Because they can play anything on the high Cs.
21. What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitarist? The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.
22. Why did the guitarist get mad at the tuner? He kept noting his mistakes.
23. What do you call a guitarist who only knows two chords? A music critic.
24. How is thunder like a guitarist? Neither one strikes the same place twice.
25. Why did the guitar teacher go to jail? For fingering A minor.
26. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A bass player.
27. How do you know if a guitarist is at your door? The knocking speeds up and they don’t know when to come in.
28. What do you call a beautiful woman on a guitarist’s arm? A tattoo.
29. Why did the guitarist get lost? He used the GPS (Guitar Positioning System) and it only showed bars.
30. Why did the guitarist go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw barre chords.
31. How do you make a guitar float? Add two scoops of ice cream and some root beer.
32. What do you call an electric guitar that wants to become a classical guitar? A guitar with nylon dreams.
33. How do you know a guitarist is playing a vintage guitar? They’ll tell you.
34. What do you throw a drowning guitarist? His amp.
35. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t fish with a guitar.
35. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t fish with a guitar.
36. How do you know when the stage is level? The guitarist drools from both sides of his mouth.
37. What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond? Eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.
38. Why do guitarists prefer playing their old guitars? They have too many frets about the new ones.
39. What’s a guitarist’s favorite Italian food? String-cheese.
40. How do you know when a guitarist is lying? His fingers are moving.
41. Why did the guitarist sit on the amplifier? To feel the music better.
42. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just steal somebody else’s light.
43. What do you call a guitarist who only knows one chord? A one-hit wonder.
44. Why do acoustic guitarists put their fingers on the fretboard? Because it frets them out to play without guidance.
45. What’s a guitarist’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline, because it’s not about the bass.
46. What do you call a guitarist with half a brain? Gifted.
47. How do you know if there’s a rock guitarist at your door? The knocking gets faster, and they don’t know when to come in.
48. What’s the difference between a guitar and a lawnmower? You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tune a lawnmower.
49. What do you call a cow that plays guitar? A moo-sician.
50. Why do some people prefer a guitar over a significant other? Because a guitar doesn’t get jealous when you play with other guitars.
Humor in Strings
There’s something wonderfully mischievous about mixing guitars with giggles. As a guitarist, I’ve heard plenty of jokes that strike the right chord, bringing amusement to band rehearsals and livening up gigs.
Playing the Part
I’ve always noticed how specific musicians in a band can become the center of jokes. Let’s tune into some of the classic punchlines.
The Life of a Guitarist
My days are strings of quirky anecdotes and six-stringed challenges. Here’s a cheeky peek into the untold sagas every guitar plucker dabbles in daily.
Musical Misfortunes: Musician Who Plays Guitar
Every guitarist has had their share of mishaps, from the twang of an out-of-tune string to the dismay of breaking a pick mid-strum. These stories resonate with humor and a nod to our shared experiences.
Things Better Not Said
I’m all for a laugh and a bit of banter when it comes to jokes, especially guitar player jokes. However, it’s worth remembering that some jokes might be off-key and potentially offend, making them things better not said.
We all love a giggle, but jokes that dive into stereotypes about intelligence or gender not only fall flat but they’re pretty out of tune with today’s values.
So, let’s keep our humor in the green and avoid those bum notes.
Strumming Up Smiles: Guitars Recommendation
Gretsch G5420T Electromatic Single-Cut with Bigsby
The Gretsch G5420T Electromatic guitar can bring a smile to your face with its vibrant and classic sound, perfect for a wide range of musical styles. Its eye-catching design and smooth playability will delight any electric guitar player, making it a joy to pick up and play.
Gretsch G5420T Electromatic Single-Cut with Bigsby, Airline Silver
FEATURES:
- Dazzling vintage-inspired design.
- Crystal-clear retro electric guitar sound.
- Solid construction and smooth playability.
- It is challenging to adjust the bridge, especially during string changes.
When you click ‘Check Price’, you’ll see there are loads of great places to buy this item. Our personal favorite is Sweetwater for the US, and Thomann and Gear4Music for the UK & Europe.
They are the largest music retailers, with excellent customer service, competitive prices, really fast shipping, and the longest guarantees.
The professional musician who wrote this article combined many things,
from the product build, manufacturer’s reputation through to feedback
from other users, to create our famous TedScore™.
Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS PF
I recommend the Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS PF for its versatile tonal options and comfortable modern “C” neck profile, offering power and playability for guitarists of all levels.
Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS PF, Silverburst
FEATURES:
- Comfort-contoured alder body with figured maple top.
- Modern C-shaped neck
- Chrome hardware for solid durability.
- The Tremolo arm doesn't stay in place after prolonged use.
When you click ‘Check Price’, you’ll see there are loads of great places to buy this item. Our personal favorite is Sweetwater for the US, and Thomann and Gear4Music for the UK & Europe.
They are the largest music retailers, with excellent customer service, competitive prices, really fast shipping, and the longest guarantees.
The professional musician who wrote this article combined many things,
from the product build, manufacturer’s reputation through to feedback
from other users, to create our famous TedScore™.
Strandberg Boden Original NX 6 Nat Flame
The Strandberg Boden Original NX 6 Nat Flame guitar stands out for its innovative ergonomic design, offering exceptional comfort and playability. Its high-quality construction and versatile tonal capabilities make it an excellent choice for modern guitarists seeking a unique and inspiring playing experience.
Strandberg Boden Original NX 6 Natural Flame
FEATURES:
- Chambered swamp ash body.
- Maple top with flamed maple veneer.
- Lightweight concept guitar designed in partnership with NAMM.
- Relatively high price point
When you click ‘Check Price’, you’ll see there are loads of great places to buy this item. Our personal favorite is Sweetwater for the US, and Thomann and Gear4Music for the UK & Europe.
They are the largest music retailers, with excellent customer service, competitive prices, really fast shipping, and the longest guarantees.
The professional musician who wrote this article combined many things,
from the product build, manufacturer’s reputation through to feedback
from other users, to create our famous TedScore™.
Guitarist Jokes
Humorous Thought
Humor is the spice of life, and it’s no different in the world of music.
I love how funny guitar jokes strike a chord with musicians and non-musicians alike, bringing a dash of lightheartedness to our day. With a few jokes up my sleeve, sharing a laugh is a brilliant way to connect with fellow guitar enthusiasts.
It’s not just about playing music; it’s about enjoying every aspect of being a guitarist.
Whether I’m poking fun at myself or having a giggle with mates, guitar jokes are a delightful interlude in a setlist filled with seriousness.
Remember, cheeky banter can make even the most complex riffs and intense practice sessions more enjoyable.
Before you go…
Discover the top 18 acoustic guitars priced under $500 in this article.
18 BEST ACOUSTIC GUITAR UNDER 500
Man, I gotta say I laughed way more than I should’ve at those guitarist jokes. It’s refreshing to see someone not take things so seriously and just have fun with it. Also, that part about bass players and drummers always getting the short stick in jokes is spot on. We’ve got a running gag in our band where the bassist and drummer are always trying to one-up each other with the most outrageous jokes. Keeps the mood light, especially during those long practice sessions. Props for the recommendations on the guitars too. Been thinking of upgrading and the Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS caught my eye. Seems like a solid choice for someone looking to get serious without breaking the bank.
Lewis Turner, I found your guide extremely insightful, particularly the section on the life of a guitarist. As someone who comes from a classical background, I’m curious about the transition to electric guitars. Do you have any advice for classical musicians looking to broaden their horizons with electric or acoustic guitars?
haha, the bit about guitar collection woes hit too close to home. My room’s more a guitar museum than a place to sleep at this point.
I gotta say, the Gretsch G5420T line has always had a special place in my heart, and seeing it recommended here just reinforces that. There’s something about that Bigsby that adds a unique flair to both the look and feel of playing.
Those Bigsby vibes are unmatched!
Gretsch is cool and all, but nothing beats the versatility of a Strat. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of guitars.