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Home » Review » The Top 50 Guitarist Jokes

Guitar And Jokes

Last updated July 31, 2024

The Top 50 Guitarist Jokes

  • Proudly written by Pro-Guitarist,
  • Lewis Turner
  • 6 Comments
  • Guitars | Acoustic Guitars | Banjo | Bass Guitars | Classical Guitars | Electric Guitars | Guitar Accessories | Guitar Amps | Guitar Pedals | Mandolin | Ukulele

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The first time I heard a guitarist joke, it left me laughing out loud right in the middle of the music shop.

There’s a classic that always gets a chuckle: “How do you get a guitarist to play softer? Put a sheet of music in front of them.”

Whether you’re a guitarist or just someone who appreciates a good guitar joke, these humorous quips will resonate with you.

Guitarist Jokes
Table of Contents

Our Ultimate List of the top 50 guitarist jokes

Here's a list of light-hearted jokes and puns related to guitars and guitarists:

1. How do you get a guitarist to play softer? Give them some sheet music.

2. What’s the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? One plays three chords for thousands of people, and the other plays thousands of chords for three people.

3. What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

4. Why did the guitarist get arrested? For fingering A minor.

5. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a song? A quitar.

6. How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. The keyboard player can do it with their left hand.

7. Why did the guitarist go to jail? Because he fingered the wrong minor.

8. What’s the difference between an electric guitar and an acoustic guitar? About 100 decibels.

9. What’s the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish!

10. Why did the guitarist apologize to his fretboard? He had too many frets.

11. How do you make a bass player turn down the volume? Put a chart in front of him.

12. What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend? Homeless.

13. Why are so many guitar player jokes one-liners? So the rest of the band can understand them.

14. What do you say to a guitarist in a three-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise?”

15. How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Put a piece of sheet music in front of them.

16. What’s the difference between a lead guitarist and God? God doesn’t think he’s a lead guitarist.

17. How do you know when a guitarist is well-hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between the neck and the noose.

18. What’s black and blue and lying in a ditch? A guitarist who’s told too many drummer jokes.

19. How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. One to screw it in and four to stand around arguing about how Jimi Hendrix would have done it.

20. Why are pirates great guitarists? Because they can play anything on the high Cs.

Hilarious Guitar Jokes and More

21. What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitarist? The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.

22. Why did the guitarist get mad at the tuner? He kept noting his mistakes.

23. What do you call a guitarist who only knows two chords? A music critic.

24. How is thunder like a guitarist? Neither one strikes the same place twice.

25. Why did the guitar teacher go to jail? For fingering A minor.

26. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A bass player.

27. How do you know if a guitarist is at your door? The knocking speeds up and they don’t know when to come in.

28. What do you call a beautiful woman on a guitarist’s arm? A tattoo.

29. Why did the guitarist get lost? He used the GPS (Guitar Positioning System) and it only showed bars.

30. Why did the guitarist go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw barre chords.

31. How do you make a guitar float? Add two scoops of ice cream and some root beer.

32. What do you call an electric guitar that wants to become a classical guitar? A guitar with nylon dreams.

33. How do you know a guitarist is playing a vintage guitar? They’ll tell you.

34. What do you throw a drowning guitarist? His amp.

35. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t fish with a guitar.

More Guitarist Jokes

35. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t fish with a guitar.

36. How do you know when the stage is level? The guitarist drools from both sides of his mouth.

37. What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond? Eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.

38. Why do guitarists prefer playing their old guitars? They have too many frets about the new ones.

39. What’s a guitarist’s favorite Italian food? String-cheese.

40. How do you know when a guitarist is lying? His fingers are moving.

41. Why did the guitarist sit on the amplifier? To feel the music better.

42. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just steal somebody else’s light.

43. What do you call a guitarist who only knows one chord? A one-hit wonder.

44. Why do acoustic guitarists put their fingers on the fretboard? Because it frets them out to play without guidance.

45. What’s a guitarist’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline, because it’s not about the bass.

46. What do you call a guitarist with half a brain? Gifted.

47. How do you know if there’s a rock guitarist at your door? The knocking gets faster, and they don’t know when to come in.

48. What’s the difference between a guitar and a lawnmower? You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tune a lawnmower.

49. What do you call a cow that plays guitar? A moo-sician.

50. Why do some people prefer a guitar over a significant other? Because a guitar doesn’t get jealous when you play with other guitars.

Humor in Strings

There’s something wonderfully mischievous about mixing guitars with giggles. As a guitarist, I’ve heard plenty of jokes that strike the right chord, bringing amusement to band rehearsals and livening up gigs.

Classic Guitar Jokes

"What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless."  "How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?" Just one, but he'll play a hundred chords before he's satisfied with the brightness." It's a jest that plays on the stereotype of the struggling artist, and despite its simplicity, it gets a laugh nearly every time.

Guitar Puns and One-Liners

Moving on to guitar puns, these one-liners often contort language so cleverly that you can't help but chuckle. Take the fretful state of strings, for instance: "What's a guitar's favorite type of cheese? String cheese!"

Playing the Part

I’ve always noticed how specific musicians in a band can become the center of jokes. Let’s tune into some of the classic punchlines.

Bass Players and Drummers: The Butt of Jokes

Drummers and bass player often play pivotal roles in bands, yet they somehow find themselves on the wrong end of a drumstick when jokes are told. My drummer mates might nod in agreement—their main job is setting the beat for joke! My bass-playing chum once quipped; "I'm so good at bass, even my band has heard of me!" We all laughed because the bassist tends to groove away in the background quietly. Speaking of guitar players, have you heard the one about the guitarist who told too many drummer jokes? He ended up getting into treble! I know, that joke was terrible; almost as bad as when you play guitar...

Lead Guitarist vs. The Band

Ah, the lead guitarist—often seen as the group's rock star, dazzling fans with solos and speedy finger work. While I love my jazz guitarist friends' intricate chords and smooth licks, they aren't exempt. A jazz guitarist is "someone who plays 6,000 chords in front of three people." It highlights the niche appeal of jazz guitarists meet with a sprinkle of humor. Another one is, "Two jazz guitarists walk into a bar and start a jam session. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve diminished chords here." During my time as a punk rock guitarist, they taught me that energy often trumps precision, which is why "punk rock guitarist" and "tune" aren't always in the same sentence—unless it's a joke!

The Life of a Guitarist

My days are strings of quirky anecdotes and six-stringed challenges. Here’s a cheeky peek into the untold sagas every guitar plucker dabbles in daily.

Guitar Collection Woes

My flat's bursting at the seams with a battalion of guitars. The never-ending quest for the perfect tone means my guitar collection keeps growing, no matter what my wallet says. Each is like a child to me; picking a favorite would be like choosing tea over biscuits!

The Guitarist's Stage Life

The first strum on stage sends an electric buzz rivaling any cup of joe.

My axe and I become one entity, crafting a musical tapestry for everyone to lose themselves. As a lead guitarist, I'm the focal point during riffs, and it's like being the captain of a ship in a sea of rhythm. When "the zone" hits, it's just me, my guitar, and the melody. Whether I'm playing rock with wild abandon or jazz with soulful finesse, it's all about the connection. I revel in each performance, for it's the pure essence of life as a guitarist.

Musical Misfortunes: Musician Who Plays Guitar

Every guitarist has had their share of mishaps, from the twang of an out-of-tune string to the dismay of breaking a pick mid-strum. These stories resonate with humor and a nod to our shared experiences.

Sensitive Strings to Avoid

I once thought I had mastered a classical guitar piece, ready to impress at an open mic.  Imagine my surprise when what I thought was an artful crescendo was my G-string slipping out of tune, turning my performance into something more akin to a fender bender than a musical masterpiece. At another gig, I was all set to riff some free air guitar during a particularly spirited solo. To my chagrin, as I struck my first air chord, I realized I was essentially conducting an orchestra of vacuum cleaners—my backing track hadn't started, leaving my silent theatrics hanging in the buzzing void.

Broken Strings and Battered Picks

There's no feeling quite as jolting as the snap of a string mid-chord. I remember frantically thumbing through sheet music, trying to transpose the song on the fly as my fretboard felt strangely barren with the absence of that crucial string. Last week, my favorite pick decided to stage a disappearing act as I got to a solo's juicy part. Desperate times called for desperate measures, so I improvised with a credit card—my strums were a bit more 'plastic' than usual, but the show continued.

Things Better Not Said

I’m all for a laugh and a bit of banter when it comes to jokes, especially guitar player jokes. However, it’s worth remembering that some jokes might be off-key and potentially offend, making them things better not said.

We all love a giggle, but jokes that dive into stereotypes about intelligence or gender not only fall flat but they’re pretty out of tune with today’s values.

So, let’s keep our humor in the green and avoid those bum notes.

Sensitive Strings to Avoid

Now, let's chat about those sensitive areas where even jesting should tread lightly.

Jokes that suggest something grave about depressed instruments or jests about burying guitar players can bring down the mood. Furthermore, serenading humor involving entities like the devil, terrorist, or defendant can turn your audience from rapt to repulsed in no time. Let's face it: we all aim to pluck the strings of laughter, not discomfort. Remember, the goal is to bring smiles like a strummed significant chord, not the dissonance of a missed note. Adding a zinger about the greatest guitarists or a quiet guitar can be incredibly tempting, but the punchline might backfire. Keep your comedic riffs light-hearted, err on caution, and the crowd will thank you.

Strumming Up Smiles: Guitars Recommendation

Gretsch G5420T Electromatic Single-Cut with Bigsby

The Gretsch G5420T Electromatic guitar can bring a smile to your face with its vibrant and classic sound, perfect for a wide range of musical styles. Its eye-catching design and smooth playability will delight any electric guitar player, making it a joy to pick up and play.

Gretsch G5420T Electromatic Single-Cut with Bigsby, Airline Silver

Gretsch G5420T Electromatic Single-Cut With Bigsby, Airline Silver Review 1
vibrant and classic sound
PERFECT FOR: Intermediate to Advance

FEATURES:
- Dazzling vintage-inspired design.
- Crystal-clear retro electric guitar sound.

Check Price >
9/10
PROS
  • Solid construction and smooth playability.
CONS
  • It is challenging to adjust the bridge, especially during string changes.
What Retailer to Buy From?

When you click ‘Check Price’, you’ll see there are loads of great places to buy this item.  Our personal favorite is Sweetwater for the US, and Thomann and Gear4Music for the UK & Europe.

They are the largest music retailers, with excellent customer service, competitive prices, really fast shipping, and the longest guarantees.

The TedScore™: 9/10
The TedScore™ is our unique system of scoring products.
The professional musician who wrote this article combined many things,
from the product build, manufacturer’s reputation through to feedback
from other users, to create our famous TedScore™.

Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS PF

I recommend the Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS PF for its versatile tonal options and comfortable modern “C” neck profile, offering power and playability for guitarists of all levels.

Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS PF, Silverburst

Fender Player Plus Stratocaster Hss Pf, Silverburst Review
versatile tonal options
PERFECT FOR: Beginners to Advance

FEATURES:
- Comfort-contoured alder body with figured maple top.
- Modern C-shaped neck

Check Price >
8/10
PROS
  • Chrome hardware for solid durability.
CONS
  • The Tremolo arm doesn't stay in place after prolonged use.
What Retailer to Buy From?

When you click ‘Check Price’, you’ll see there are loads of great places to buy this item.  Our personal favorite is Sweetwater for the US, and Thomann and Gear4Music for the UK & Europe.

They are the largest music retailers, with excellent customer service, competitive prices, really fast shipping, and the longest guarantees.

The TedScore™: 8/10
The TedScore™ is our unique system of scoring products.
The professional musician who wrote this article combined many things,
from the product build, manufacturer’s reputation through to feedback
from other users, to create our famous TedScore™.

Strandberg Boden Original NX 6 Nat Flame

The Strandberg Boden Original NX 6 Nat Flame guitar stands out for its innovative ergonomic design, offering exceptional comfort and playability. Its high-quality construction and versatile tonal capabilities make it an excellent choice for modern guitarists seeking a unique and inspiring playing experience.

Strandberg Boden Original NX 6 Natural Flame

Strandberg Boden Original
versatile options
PERFECT FOR: Beginners to Advance

FEATURES:
- Chambered swamp ash body.
- Maple top with flamed maple veneer.

Check Price >
9/10
PROS
  • Lightweight concept guitar designed in partnership with NAMM.
CONS
  • Relatively high price point
What Retailer to Buy From?

When you click ‘Check Price’, you’ll see there are loads of great places to buy this item.  Our personal favorite is Sweetwater for the US, and Thomann and Gear4Music for the UK & Europe.

They are the largest music retailers, with excellent customer service, competitive prices, really fast shipping, and the longest guarantees.

The TedScore™: 9/10
The TedScore™ is our unique system of scoring products.
The professional musician who wrote this article combined many things,
from the product build, manufacturer’s reputation through to feedback
from other users, to create our famous TedScore™.

Guitarist Jokes
Humorous Thought

Humor is the spice of life, and it’s no different in the world of music.

I love how funny guitar jokes strike a chord with musicians and non-musicians alike, bringing a dash of lightheartedness to our day. With a few jokes up my sleeve, sharing a laugh is a brilliant way to connect with fellow guitar enthusiasts.

It’s not just about playing music; it’s about enjoying every aspect of being a guitarist.

Whether I’m poking fun at myself or having a giggle with mates, guitar jokes are a delightful interlude in a setlist filled with seriousness.

Remember, cheeky banter can make even the most complex riffs and intense practice sessions more enjoyable.

Before you go…

Discover the top 18 acoustic guitars priced under $500 in this article.

18 BEST ACOUSTIC GUITAR UNDER 500

 

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Are Guitar Strings Recyclable? If So, How Should You Go About It?

Guitar strings are recyclable, and specialized recycling programs accept them. To recycle guitar strings, you can look for recycling initiatives or companies that specifically handle musical instrument strings. Some programs allow you to mail in used strings for recycling, while others provide collection points at music stores or events. It’s important to ensure that recycling is done responsibly to minimize environmental impact.

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  • Lewis Turner Guitar
    Lewis Turner

    Lewis is a professional guitarist based in London, UK. Over the years he has built up a diverse career, including playing on West End shows such as The Lion King, Mamma Mia, Man of La Mancha, Bat Out Of Hell, Strictly Ballroom, The Band, The Last Tango, Jersey Boys, Jackie The Musical, Exposure, Beyond The Fence, Adrian Mole, WAGGS, Momentous Musicals, The Addams Family (UK Premier), Legally Blonde, Fame, Hairspray, Grease, The Wedding Singer and many more. He has been fortunate to work with some fantastic musicians over the years including Mark Knopfler and Guy Fletcher (Dire Straits). All in all, Lewis is just a phenomenally talented guitarist who is also a really nice chap! See him in action on the Ted's List YouTube channel under the playlist guitars section.

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  1. EddyRiffs says:
    March 24, 2025 at 9:24 am

    Man, I gotta say I laughed way more than I should’ve at those guitarist jokes. It’s refreshing to see someone not take things so seriously and just have fun with it. Also, that part about bass players and drummers always getting the short stick in jokes is spot on. We’ve got a running gag in our band where the bassist and drummer are always trying to one-up each other with the most outrageous jokes. Keeps the mood light, especially during those long practice sessions. Props for the recommendations on the guitars too. Been thinking of upgrading and the Fender Player Plus Stratocaster HSS caught my eye. Seems like a solid choice for someone looking to get serious without breaking the bank.

    Reply
  2. T.Melodic says:
    February 4, 2025 at 9:53 pm

    Lewis Turner, I found your guide extremely insightful, particularly the section on the life of a guitarist. As someone who comes from a classical background, I’m curious about the transition to electric guitars. Do you have any advice for classical musicians looking to broaden their horizons with electric or acoustic guitars?

    Reply
  3. JJ says:
    December 6, 2024 at 8:11 am

    haha, the bit about guitar collection woes hit too close to home. My room’s more a guitar museum than a place to sleep at this point.

    Reply
  4. AxelF says:
    October 18, 2024 at 5:23 pm

    I gotta say, the Gretsch G5420T line has always had a special place in my heart, and seeing it recommended here just reinforces that. There’s something about that Bigsby that adds a unique flair to both the look and feel of playing.

    Reply
    • BigBender says:
      March 24, 2025 at 9:24 am

      Those Bigsby vibes are unmatched!

      Reply
    • StratLover says:
      February 4, 2025 at 1:17 am

      Gretsch is cool and all, but nothing beats the versatility of a Strat. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of guitars.

      Reply

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